The Open Toed Shoe Pledge
by Emily Educator ⋅ August 24, 2019
Alright young ladies & Gents, it's that time of year once again! I think we need to be reminded of a few things. PLEASE, raise your big toes and repeat after me...
As a member of the Teens Now Talk Sister/brotherhood,
I pledge to follow the rules when wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:
I promise to always wear sandals that fit.
My toes will not hang over and touch the ground,
nor will my heels spill over the backs, or will the sides and tops of my feet ooze out between the straps.
I will promise to throw away or clean any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear – nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.
I won’t wear pantyhose, even if my misinformed girlfriend or sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.
If a strap breaks, I won’t duct tape, pin, glue, or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.
I will promise if I wear flip flops I will ensure they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking. I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.
I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes! This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. Besides, no one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.
I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free.
I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.
I will promise to have a real pedicure at least once per season or have friends over and have our own pedicure party.
I will apply foot lotion and sand down any mounds of yellow skin.
I will shave the hairs off my big toe.
I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.
I will not live in denial; I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl’s if my feet need him.
I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister when shopping and she asks “if her feet look good in those sandals.”
I will promise to love my feet, even though my toes are longer than my friend’s finger.
I promise to respect my beautiful feet, for they carry me around all day.
Now lower your big toe and be thankful you can stand.
Go on share with your friends