Have a question? Ask a Diva! Never be afraid to come forward with your questions, either to me, Diva, or to your parents and teachers!
"Don't be shy about asking for help. It doesn't mean you're weak, it only means you're wise." - Diva
It saddens me that we teens aged 13 to 15 have no place to go if we find ourselves in a “situation.” My 14-year-old friend had a bad abusive and sexual experience while dating. She was too afraid to tell anyone because they would be forced to report it. She wanted to report it, but she also wanted time to speak with someone in confidence first and have the option. She wanted someone to first help her make sense of what happened and how she felt. She wanted time to digest the guilt, shame, and fear. Oh, the fear of parents finding out and looking at you with a disappointed look. The fear of friends pointing and judging, while the “other” person has an imaginary hand over your mouth as they walk around as if nothing happened. I am glad she is no longer with this person, and that she trusted me with this secret, but the secret is heavy in my heart. And it’s slowly tearing her apart, robbing her of her smile and distancing her from family and friends
~ Still Looking
Dear Still Looking
I am glad you are being strong for your friend right now, she trusted you with some, information. And yes, you will have to be very careful with how you handle this. Ideally, she should be sitting down and talking to her parents, letting them take some of this weight off of her and your shoulders. If this can’t happen for any reason, there are a few avenues you can look into for your friend: using the “My friend has a question” scenario, speak with the public health nurse or guidance counselor at your school for some advice. As well, connect with the Avalon Sexual Health Centre or Kids Help Phone to start. Keep a good eye on your friend, and if this issue becomes bigger than the both of you, you must be strong and make the choice to get her help.