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"Don't be shy about asking for help. It doesn't mean you're weak, it only means you're wise." - Diva
My big Mouth
Oh, Diva, help me get my foot out of my mouth. My cousin came over to my house to hang out and watch a baseball game. We were cheering for opposite teams and I was getting totally peeved because my team was losing badly. Just then, his team hit a grand slam and I jumped up yelling, “How can someone who hits like a fag do that?” Within seconds, he became very upset and started to leave. I had to ask him several times what was wrong before he said, “You’re straight and you know I’m gay. You see what I have to deal with outside, so why would you make a comment like that? Next time, think before you speak.” Then he left. I know what he said was so right. I love my cousin and respect him for having the guts to be true to himself even in these crazy times. Yes, it was a stupid comment and I meant nothing by it, but now he’s avoiding me. Help me, Diva.
~ My big Mouth
Dear My big Mouth
Wow, your foot by-passed your mouth and went all the way down to your gut. It sounds like you learned an important lesson on how powerful words are and how deeply they can hurt others. It’s kind of sad that it had to be at the expense of your cousin. It sounds like your cousin took comfort, trust, and safety in your company and found a safe haven or shelter from whatever he has to deal with in the outside world. When that comfort zone or trust is broken, it will take time to heal and re-build. His avoiding you could mean he is still hurt or not ready to talk. Let him have his space. Just find a way to let him know you’re sorry and include what you wrote: “I love my cousin and respect him for having the guts to be true to himself even in these crazy times.” Now those are words he should hear. Thank you for writing in and sharing because the lesson you learned on how painful words can be will help educate others as to why it’s so important to think before you speak.