I Hear ya, Gee!

Push pin

Dear Diva

My friend always tells me I don’t listen to him and this is driving me insane. I sit and listen to him pour out his soul for hours, and at times I can repeat almost every word because he repeats himself so much. Whenever there is a long pause and I can get a word into share my opinion or a solution, he just gets upset and says, “You just don’t understand and you always cut me off.”

I have no problem being there to listen, share and comfort him, but if he’s not going to move on after stewing over the issue for hours, then days which turn into weeks, I have to move on. Diva, it’s to the point now where he’s boring me so much I have to walk away when I see him or just tune him out when he speaks.


Dear I Hear ya, Gee!

Dear Diva Character

Dear I Hear ya, Gee!

Don’t give up on your friend. Maybe take a break or write him a letter telling him what you heard from the conversation and offer your solutions. End the letter by saying this is the best you can offer.

See, some people will get stuck on an issue because they don’t know how to process all the information fully. This is what I call a case of reverse listening. The person who is stuck will need to learn to listen, and first this comes with acknowledging the issue, the responsibility for the actions and what options are open. 

Going in one ear and out the other – Building bridges through communication starts with listening.

I am sure if you asked most of your friends if they were good listeners, almost all would proudly say YES! And truth be known, listening plays a big role in communication and most take the ability to listen for granted.

Listening makes people you care for feel worthy, appreciated and respected. When we listen, we are on the right path for positive and effective communication. Ironically, as your listening skills improve, so will your aptitude for conversation. I know it may be hard to stay quiet at times when someone is speaking about a topic that has your blood boiling, but to know how to listen to someone else, start first thinking about how you would want to be listened to.

I know you have heard the saying “going in one ear and out the other.” So I ask you, would you want someone interrupting you by answering a cell phone, tapping their feet, looking around, telling you to wait a minute, cutting you off or trying to finish your sentence? You know this would aggravate you and make you feel even worse. 

On the flip side, would you want someone who looks into your eye while you’re speaking, turns off the TV, puts their cell on mute, takes the time to hear what you have to say, shares their viewpoint and solutions after you have finished speaking and asks you questions to help get more information?

They say it takes two for a conversation. Just remember, one has to speak while the other has to listen!

~ Diva

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