Stop Calling me out of my Name

Push pin

Dear Diva

I’ve been seeing my new boo for almost three months and I am noticing some not-so-nice things happening in my life. My boo is a bit controlling when it comes to my friends and feels we should spend all our time glued to the hip. My friends are getting peeved because I have stopped hanging out with them and are slowly de-friending me on Facebook and avoiding me in public for fear of my boo’s actions. My boo thinks it’s ok to yell at me if I am late coming home from school, treats me like I am a child at times and is always threatening to leave me. Just when I thought things were cool, a new issue about the clothing I wear has arisen and things are getting pretty heated. He has never hit me, but the name calling and disrespect in public are tearing me up inside and making me look pretty stupid for staying. Oh, Diva, I do care for this person, so what should I do?


Dear Stop Calling me out of my Name

Dear Diva Character

Dear Stop Calling me out of my Name

The greatest power I feel one has is knowing when to listen to their gut! Too often, a person’s gut will scream “Leave now!” but one will not stop to listen or ask if they deserve better. They simply think they have the best and at times the best could turn out to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

By this I mean they may put on a great front when they first meet you, treat you like a king or queen, bring you flowers, and just when you think things are awesome – bang! They turn around and want to control who you speak with, what you wear, what time you should leave and come home, check your phone, and if you show signs of resisting, they start knocking you down with verbal abuse (calling you gross names), mental abuse (setting traps, like having their friends call you, then see if you report back what happened), and having you feel like you are always walking on eggshells around them, or picking reasons to fight over nothing. Then it can get worse – they move into physical abuse: beating you.

Like the wolf wearing sheep’s clothing, if the wolf showed themselves, the sheep would run. But if the wolf dresses like a sheep, one might walk up to them, then once there, off comes the costume and the sheep is alone. Your true friends are on the outside and can see some signs of the wolf and what you are going through; this is why your boo doesn’t want them around. Get it? Your boo wants full control and nobody around for you to run to; I call this divide and conquer.

I am not sure what stage you are in right now, but I am sure your gut has told you already what you are to do and staying around WAS NOT one of the options. You deserve respect, happiness, honesty and, yes, to be treated like a queen or king 365 days of the year and no one has the right to mentally, emotionally and physically abuse you…NO ONE.

Knowing it’s easier to say than do, my advice for you would be to leave because the love you have is not the same love you fell for; love will not have you walking on eggshells, feeling disrespected, degraded and disowned by your friends. You say you care for this person – well, it’s time to take care of yourself first! Recognize what you need versus what you’re receiving. Make a decision that will benefit you, your health and well-being.

~ Diva

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